I was kicking and screaming, my lungs burning as if it was the end of the world. Non-stop, so many tears. I was absolutely hysterical. A red face, blocked up nose and a feeling of complete loss.

I remember the wooden front door to the house. The gold plated solid metal old school keypad lock that I was clinging to as mum left once again.

I kicked off again as if I would never see her. She was on her way out for a date night with the old man. I was kicking and screaming on the floor.

I continued to scream louder as I heard the car ignition fire up.

Again, I had convinced her to come back. I didn’t want her to go. I was 6 years old. I just did not understand.

Maybe I subconsciously knew my dad was an evil man? Perhaps I knew he was screwing around on her already?

Whatever it was, it’s a raw and vivid memory of mum leaving me.

She’s now gone forever and this childhood memory lives on forever.

Only reminded of this by the sobs of my 9 year old daughter. This time it’s her mum leaving again. My daughter can’t leave our room. She’s clinging to my wife while she packs her suitcase. My daughter doesn’t want her to leave. She doesn’t want to go to bed and not have her home when she wakes up.

My daughter sneaks back up from her bedroom. She’s crying again.

I can relate. I love my mum more than anything and I couldn’t bear to be apart from her. It hurts me to see her sad. I wish I could make her feel better.

And even now, I look at the moon. My mum used to say “Look up at the moon. I’ll be looking at it too. Together we’ll always be together no matter where we are.”