Today my therapist taught me about why choosing short term pain will make me the man I aspire to be.

When you face challenging situations that question your values, you are essentially given two choices; ‘away’ or ‘towards’.

Your values are what you aspire to be. Do you want to run your own company? Be in charge of your own destiny? Do you want to be seen as a man or a mouse?

When you act ‘away’ from your values, it’s the easiest route. You’re kicking the can down the road. It eliminates the pain and problem. But it does move you further away from your true aspirations.

By acting ‘towards’ your values, you’re faced with a pain that’s uncomfortable. It’s tough and it will be fucking hard in the short term. But ultimately, leaning into it brings you toward your values.

So, when the time comes to face your next challenging situation. Ask yourself – “who do I want to be?”

Think about turning ‘towards’ the longer term values you aspire to be. Consider, taking the short term hit. It will hurt at first but the longer term pay off is that alluring fulfilment that we all so desire to feel.

For example I want to rid myself of working for Franz and the family business.

The short term is easy, I take the salary and continue living in the cyclical nature of his bi polar craziness. Him dipping in and out of blazing confusions. Throwing his toys at me and everyone else.

When he’s manic, he becomes completely lost from reality and absolutely unreasonable to work with. He leaves a trail of carnage.

So what do I do? I wait for him to settle down into a depression. I wait for him to go back into a haze of smoking ounces of weed.

Once he’s there I no longer have to speak to him for months. All my pain goes away. But through this nature I’ve kicked the can further down the road from my dream of running my own business.

I need to face into starting something of my own. I need to make the leap and free myself from the shackles of his narcissistic manipulation.

When the day comes, I’ll lean in, and I can feel it. It’s really going to hurt. But I keep assuring myself it will only be for a short while.

I’ll graduate to what everyone in the world gets as a birth right. The day they tell their old man to FUCK OFF!

I’m confident I can muster up the courage to choose short term pain to achieve long term gain. If I don’t then what does that make me -a man or a mouse?

I choose to take charge of my own destiny. How about you?