Some mornings I wake up and I’m keen as mustard to rub one out. I’m horny as can be. And to be honest mornings don’t have a very high success rate with the wife.

So I need to make a choice. To jerk the gherkin or to not.

If I do pull one off, and there’s any chance of getting laid that night, my chances of getting it up—or finishing—become slim. Which I do not want to happen at any cost.

Also, if I do jerk off, I lose my mojo. My hunger to get laid with the wife is minimised. And this does not fulfil my desire to feel close to her or actually have sex.

But it does feel nice. And feeling nice is self-love. Self love is good for me. But so is intimacy.

So do you tackle the snake? Or hang out for a spooning?